SmokeLong Quarterly

I love the title! It has length (which can be a fun twist in flash or micros) and humor. It sets a stage for a story where there could be multiple meanings and layers of meaning and interpretation. Would you like to expand on the title in your process? What’s the title’s story?!

The title was a direct result of me trying to reconcile the impending death of a close friend. My mind kept searching for a positive finality for him.

Death is not an uncommon topic in fiction, but you brought a fresh approach to the topic. Your story reminded me of the stages of death in that there are subtle nods to denial and bargaining and anger and confusion and …. I appreciate how there is a roller coaster of emotions that harkens back to the title as well. Do you think that emotions might be heightened or intense near the end?

There were several amazing “coincidences” I experienced with him in his last days as he floated in and out of consciousness. Once he even referenced part of a conversation I had with another good friend. Inexplicable details that he could not have known and like nothing he’d ever said to me before this. It helped me realize that he was truly transitioning into something of a collective consciousness, for lack of a better description.

I found it interesting that the woman the narrator waited for is just a fleeting image, not long enough to hold on to, but the mother and the cat are more present and waiting, stable, patient, Penelopes of a sort, although they seem to very obviously be left behind. The story hints at loss and presence and goodbyes or lack thereof. Do you have an archetype of the cat or the mother in your life?

I was one of the people holding his hand when he died. He’d been unconscious for hours and the second before his last breath, he squeezed my hand and his mother’s hand and then he stopped breathing. In my mind, he leapt forward bravely and found this incredible place– and was surprised, and wondered at the beauty and warmth that awaited him.

One of the things I found interesting is that in rereading the story multiple times with the “or” of the title in mind, it really DOES fit both death and the feeling of fear or sensation of imminent death in scary rides. Are you scared of roller coasters or have you had a moment of feeling life flash before your eyes where the “I almost died” felt more literal than figurative?

While in residence at Kerouc House in Orlando last November, my boyfriend and I waited for over an hour to ride the Guardians of the Galaxy ride at Epcot. I’m not a theme park person and I dread a roller coaster. But the ever-present idea of my friend’s certain death was always playing in my mind. I wanted it to be something beautiful, not something horrific. So, we waited and waited and there was no music. In the Guardians movie, the mixtape figures in prominently. It was surprising that we never heard music until we were whisked away in the dark. And then the perfect stereo of “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” was overwhelmingly moving. I couldn’t escape the metaphor. I wanted death to be a beautiful, positive surprise, because why not?

I love how the last paragraph takes us to a heaven of sorts: a valley, temperate jungle with fruits, waffles (!!!!!!!!), sunlight (in contrast to earlier dark), laughter and chairs scraping floor suggesting company. Is that how you’d describe your idea of heaven?

I have decided that death is just another gorgeous experience. That we’re just afraid because we’ve yet to experience it. So yes, I think death will be harrowing and exquisite.