How did the semicolon shape the relationship between your narrator and her mother? Was this punctuation an initial craft decision or a later one?
The semicolon is defined as a pause between clauses, more pronounced than a comma, to collect two distinct ideas into a singular sentence. I imagine, for example, a mother holding onto a daughter, an embrace that combines two souls into one space. While they may exist in the same plane, they are still independent of one another, unable to be combined.
The punctuation was a decision I made at the very beginning, after I decided to tell the story of a girl named Ai—a daughter, born to a mother who could not love her completely because of her superstitions.
The narrator’s mother swallows her daughter’s stories. How did you balance the range of painful and protective stories she consumes? Would you call this a cannibalism story?
That’s a very apt way to put it! Yes, I would say that—the mother seeks to tell and retell the story of her daughter’s birth. In the process, she consumes parts of the truth that existed on that day, narrating a version that makes more sense to her. I was very inspired by true stories of mothers who became lost to the superstition that girls are unlucky creatures—unfortunately, still a large issue in China—and became certain that their lives had been cursed because of the presence of a daughter. The mother blames the time of day, the date itself, all the circumstances of the birth-giving process and later the events of her life for this misfortune.
I adore the lyricism in “Love ; Sigh,” like: “爱 (ai), as in love, how an exhale leaves a mouth.” Did sound offer a particular opening into writing love intertwined with grief?
Yes, absolutely. While writing, I was also exploring homophones, which are even more bountiful in the Chinese language than in English. Ai, the Chinese word for love, can also sound like a sigh when breathed between pursed lips. From there, the story unfolded into one about a love that means love, but also an expression of something deeper (a sigh can mean so many things!), two independent definitions linked by a singular person.
